Find me there! ♥

Life is energy. Energy cannot die. Energy goes on, it transforms, takes new shape, but it does not die. Therefore, our life energy, our life force cannot just disappear. Our life is temporary. These bodies our life energy (or soul) fill are only temporary. When our body comes to its end, our energy is released and, as many believe, goes to a place of rest. This place of rest has many names, Enlightenment, Heaven, etc. As a Wiccan, I call this place Summerland. I then believe that our souls decide when it is time for us to be reborn and we are then reborn into a new life. I also believe in karma and that our karma follows us into our next lives.

I recently read this book called Meridian by Amber Kizer. The book tackles the ideas and fears humankind has of death. In the book, the author creates beings called Fenestras. Meridian, the protagonist of the story, happens to be a Fenestra, which is a half-angel, half-human link to the other world. Fenestras, in the story, are people chosen by the Creator (also known as God, Allah, etc.) to be windows or portals for souls to enter into the place of rest. Meridian, at first, knows nothing about this and lives her life surrounded by death until her sixteenth birthday when she is forced to journey to her Auntie who then explains to her what she is, what they are. Throughout the book, Meridian begins to understand what death really is. There’s a part in the book that Auntie says to her, “Death isn’t the end people fear it is. Everything rises, child.”

What she means is that death isn’t the end, it’s a new beginning. By rises, she means that the life energy does not end with the body, it rises to this place of rest. It goes on, moves on. I believe that some people have some kind of irrational fears about death, trying desperately to escape it, when it is truly inevitable, but we do not have to fear it, because it is not the end. I’m not saying I’m completely comfortable with death, I’ve got lots of life to live, but I’m not going to be paranoid and worried about it. I refuse to let fear rule my life. Death does not have to be scary, it’s merely a transition.

photo by Lara Jade.

In history there has always been a double standard setting apart the men from the women. The double standard, sadly, still survives to this day. When you think of a man, you think strength, courage…masculinity. When you think of women, you think pretty, fragile…femininity. They are polar opposites, which is why when you think of a women being sexually active, there’s a huge “Wait. What?!” Think about it, when a man has claimed to have “had his way around”, no one really thinks twice about it. He’s even congratulated, considered “manly” for his…conquests. Women, on the other hand, are looked down upon if they make those same types of claims. They’re automatically labeled sluts or whores. Oh, I forgot that sometimes the man gets named too. I forgot about “player”. -insert rolling of the eyes here- Women who happen to be confident in their sexuality go against society’s definition of what a woman is supposed to be and act like.

We women are put into this pretty little pink box where we’re expected to stay in until marriage. The unspoken rule is to never step out of the boundary, if you do, you’re ridiculed. If you thought about it carefully, the reason would be pretty obvious. A woman who is confident in her sexuality is frightening to some men. Why? Because she is taking ownership of her body and she enjoys feeling sexy.

Sexy is not what women are supposed to act like. They are not supposed to draw attention to themselves in that way. They are supposed to be modest, cover up. Now, women, I’m not trying to say, go out there and flaunt your “assets” in tiny skirts and super low neck tops, no. You can maintain your dignity and class and still be sexy. Confidence in one’s sexuality doesn’t mean f*cking everything in sight, it means loving your body and being proud of it. It means taking control and, in history, that’s exactly what men have tried to stop us from doing. Take control of your sexuality, don’t fear it because it is nothing to be feared of. It is a natural part of you. Pleasure is natural. If God didn’t intend for humans to have pleasure, well, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have built us with that ability.

On the other hand, there are shows like Charmed which draw heavily from the actual religion of Wicca and even make the religion a big part of the show. In one episode, a coven of witches were shown reciting some of the actual Witches Creed, and yes most witches do keep a Book of Shadows or Grimoire, but a show can’t survive just on that. To draw an audience, you need to interest them, and therefore you have to exaggerate the truth…a lot. No we do not fight demons that pop out of no where, we do not have the ability to freeze time or blow things up with a motion of our hands. (Once again, if we could, that would be reeeeally cool.) In another episode there was even a joke I found pretty funny where one of the Charmed sisters (Phoebe) grabbed a broom and another sister (Piper or Paige, can’t remember) asked her “What’s the broom for?” and Phoebe answered, “For flying silly”. No, in the show they don’t fly on brooms and neither do real witches, that part of the episode was in Piper’s delusion and it played on some of the fictions about witchcraft, like flying on brooms.

Charmed is one of my favorite shows, but I know that most of it’s not true. Sometimes shows like Charmed help to show Wicca in a positive light, but some shows and movies just add fuel to the fire against Wicca. That is when people need to think logically. Is it really possible for what’s going on in a movie/show to be true? If it isn’t humanly impossible, then of course it’s not, because when it comes down to it, that’s what we all are, human.

After watching the movie Eat, Pray, Love today, my friend and I decided that we just had to get our hands on the book as well. The movie is just incredible (Julia Roberts was phenomenal) and knowing that the movie is actually based on the real life events and a book by Elizabeth Gilbert was…wow. The woman has guts and she is so right. We need to realize that we’re in charge of our own lives. Sometimes we just ride life like a train, we go wherever it takes us, but that’s not fulfilling. We need to take life by the reigns and do something for ourselves. Happiness isn’t given as a gift, it’s achieved.

So, after I got home I found myself rummaging though junk in the drawers in my room looking for…my library card. (Which I found after I gave up looking for it. -sigh-) Where I am right now, I’m not able to do like Elizabeth did and take off a year and just travel the world, but I can find other means of escape. Earlier this summer I had made a list of books I had planned to read. The list got lost with the other things I planned to do this summer that just wouldn’t or couldn’t happen, but I’ve decided, now at the end of summer vacation, to start on that list. My means of escape? Though books.

Yeah, I know, it sounds a bit…nerdy. (Or stupid maybe?) Books, though, they allow you to get lost in a world of fiction. If you allow yourself to get immersed in a good book, you’ll find yourself in an alternate reality. You can escape from the world and not even leave the comfort of your own bedroom. So, after finding my library card, I’ve decided to remake my summer reading list and I challenge you to make your own. Take a break from your life. Sit in a quiet area, maybe with a cup of tea, and get lost in a fictional world where your problems are non-existent and the only conflict there is, is that of the protagonist.

Here’s my (incomplete) summer reading list:
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Tweet Heart by Elizabeth Rudnick
a field guide for heart breakers by Kristen Tracey
Hex Hall by Rachel Hawkins
Heist Society by Ally Carter

Recently a tragic event has happened in my family, a family member of mine committed suicide. Even more recently, another very close family member of mine attempted to do the same thing, but luckily failed. Ending your life doesn’t solve anything, because you are no longer here to feel any positive effects. The only effects of ending your life is the negative effects it has on your family and friends who have to deal with the loss of your life. Nothing is ever bad enough that the only option is suicide. Life goes on and if you stick around you’ll learn that bad events, mistakes, they become the past and your future is anything you make it, but you have to be alive to have a future.

If that isn’t enough, suicide is selfish, because you’re only thinking about yourself. You don’t know the people you will hurt, the people you will betray by ending your life. If you don’t believe there’s anyone who will care, trust me, there is. There always is. I know what it’s like to have those thoughts, because I’ve contemplated suicide myself, and trust me, lots of people have. You aren’t alone in the world. Suicide isn’t the answer, it’s a white flag. It’s you saying to the world that it’s beat you.

121 million people in the world suffer from depression (World Health Organization). In 2006, in America alone, there were 10.9 suicide deaths for every 100,000 people and for every suicide death there were an estimated 12-15 attempted suicides (NIMH). What forces people into these critical and fragile emotional states? Society. We as a society, as a people, fail to see what we are doing wrong. I was watching the new show on MTV called “If You Really Knew Me” and I was saddened to see that this is the truth.

How do you make a judgement on a person? Most of the time it’s through first impressions. How do you make a first impression? Almost always though appearences. This is where society fails. We judge people based on appearences, we blatantly decide not to look beyond a person’s looks, clothing, etc to who they may be inside. We then use this judgement to discriminate. Discriminate against anyone who doesn’t fit our definition of “normal”. She doesn’t wear the “right” kind of cloths, he doesn’t have the “right” kind of hair, she wears too much black, he looks like stuck-up jock, it’s sad but this is how many people think.

What happens to the people on the other end of the stick? Ever stop to think about how they feel, what they’re going through? Of course not, why should you? Why, because, believe it or not, one day your going to be on the other end and your going to wish people would take the time to get to know you. Karma’s a bitch, believe me, I’ve witnessed it and even felt it, but that’s not what this post is about. (I’m starting to get off topic, enough ranting.)

Because people are discriminated for being different, people become stressed, they feel alone. Every living thing requires love to live, because love is what makes happiness. Love is the one thing that everyone craves, everyone needs, and without love, we feel depressed, worthless, hopeless, and alone. If we as a society, as a people, somehow realize this and adopt this into our own lives, the world would really be a better place. If we could look past appearences, past mistakes, past differences, the world would finally be a happy and healthy place to live.

Every living thing has a right to live their lives happily because everyone has worth.
You have worth.

I was thinking about what I looked like in my early teens (as I’m still a teenager) yesterday and today since I just got back from shopping. I call my early teens and up until 11th grade my awkward years, as that is really what they were. I was trying to “find myself” and I went through so many styles of clothing, it’s pretty ridiculous.

At thirteen I basically wore whatever I could find in my closet. I didn’t really have a style and was too lazy to really bother with trying to cordinate things. I usually just looked like a random kid, but from late thirteen though fourteen I tried the whole “emo” look, which I failed at miserably. Mostly I tried it because I like bands that are considered “emo” and I honestly did, and still do, like the style. It just doesn’t work for me. From fifteen through sixteen, I went back to what I did when I was thirteen, which was basically thow on anything I could find in the morning. It was during this time though that I was slowly finding my style.

Now at seventeen I mostly stick to vintage and classic styles. I like light colored clothing that have a simple, clean look. I’m extremely girly, which is something I would have never admitted at thirteen when I would make snide comments about the “preps”. My style is what I’d consider cutesy, since I’m also interested in Lolita fashion, but as of now, I own nothing that would be considered Lolita. My style’s still creating itself, but I finally have a better idea of what it is, away from the huge bangs that covered my eyes and made me look depressed when I was fourteen, and the mis-matched cloths that I owned since I was in middle school and wore when I was fifteen.

Some people consider this to be the ultimate question, it is not. Honestly, it’s the stupidest question there is. (In my opinion of course.) I’ve heard people ask this question so many times and I’ve heard people’s attempts to answer it. Unfortunately for those poor souls, that question has no answer, because life has no meaning. You aren’t born with meaning and life doesn’t come with meaning. The simple truth is that you, yourself, give life meaning. You must create meaning in your own life, because there is no predetermined destiny awaiting you. You give your life meaning by striving for your goals, surrounding yourself with people you love and people who love you. It’s as simple as that.

The real ultimate question was asked by Shakespeare, “To be or not to be?” Why is this the ultimate question? Well let’s examine it, starting with the definition of the word be:

be
–verb

1. to exist or live
2. to take place; happen; occur
3. to occupy a place or position
4. to continue or remain as before
5. to belong; attend; befall
(taken from dictionary.com)

Now the question, once again, is “To be or not to be?” It is asking you to exist or not exist, to live or not to live, to occur or not to occur. You make that choice with your life by giving it meaning. You choose to live, to exist and strive for the full potential of your life or you choose not to live, to give up. It is your choice and what happens in your life depends on that choice. That is why it is the ultimate question.

I remember the first time I ever experienced the wonders of meditation was when I was in sixth grade. My teacher at the time, who is one of my favorite teachers of all time, made the class take a little time, once a week, during class, to meditate. Most everyone was willing to try it and so we did. She would dictate the meditation to us and it would last about half a class period. I remember that when it was over and I opened my eyes again, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and any stress I had been feeling seemed to have just disappeared. Soon the students were asking her if we could do meditation everyday, which, of course, we couldn’t, but it proved how successful it was. Everyone had felt some kind of positive result from the meditation.

I didn’t continue meditation at home and after I graduated from middle school, I rarely did it again. When I was introduced to Wicca when I was fourteen, I found that meditation was an integral part of many rituals. It was in this way that I was reintroduced to meditation. Still, I didn’t do it much. Only after/during ritual or spellworking. Then one day, after school, I was feeling extremely stressed and was consumed by negative feelings that had been brought upon me throughout the day, that I found myself walking toward Central Park. It was an extremely warm Spring day, so I found a quiet area and sat atop a large rock right under the sun. I crossed my legs, closed my eyes and meditated. I sat there for who knows how long, just focusing on the sound of the leaves rustling, the birds chirping and the bugs buzzing around me. (Strangely, I extremely afraid of bugs and insects, but at that moment, they didn’t bother me at all.) When I finally opened my eyes again, I couldn’t help but smile at the relief that washed over me and swept away all the negativity and stress. That was when I mediation became a vital part of my life.

I recently began learning about the chakra centers and learned how important it was to have them balanced and clear. Since learning to balance my chakras and incorporating them in my meditation, I’ve gotten even better results. I feel fresh, rejuvenated and more positive.

I urge everyone who may read this to try meditation. No matter how silly it may seem to you, believe me, it works! If you’re interested in chakra balancing meditations, there’s a great video dictated meditation on YouTube by CharmingPixieFlora that I would recommend (click here). Trust me, meditation is not a joke, it works, and if done right, it can work miracles for you.

For several months now, I’ve been on a non-strict vegetarian diet. I’ve cheated a few several times on my diet throughout those months, if I’m being honest. Mostly because I was serious, but not serious enough about it, and also because I live in a household where meat is, unfortunately, part of a daily meal. Recently, in my Spanish class we were discussing the different types of food from Hispanic culture, and almost every dish discussed included meat. The conversation somehow drifted to veal and I, until this time, had no clue what veal was. When the teacher explained it to us, I was horrified. No not horrified, disgusted! How could any human being do that to another creature, I honestly have no clue. If you don’t know what veal is, it’s baby cow.

I recently joined the Peta2 youth group & street team, and coincidentally, I received my information packet and welcome letter from Peta2 that same day. (Which if I now remember correctly was yesterday…bad memory.) The information packet appears nice and cutesy on the cover, but when you open it, there are no words to describe what the rest of the booklet entails. The booklet includes information on factory farming, animal testing and much more. Then there are the pictures -shudder-. While reading, I wasn’t sure whether I should be angry or cry. I was completely and throughly appalled. If you care about animals and are a meat eater, I suggest you rethink your diet. I understand the concept of “survival of the fittest”, but this is slaughter, it is murder. These animals are alive, they are living, breathing things. The way these animals are treated on these so-called “farms” should be illegal. These aren’t “farms”, they’re slaughter houses.

The following is a very graphic excerpt from the Peta2 information packet, read at your own risk, this is what they never told you:

“Cattle raised for beef have their horns and testicles cut off and have third degree burns inflicted on them (branding) -all without painkillers.

Dairy cows are hooked up to machines that cause cuts and other injuries to their udders. Some of that pus, blood, and scabs from those injuries will end up in a glass of milk. The cows often get sick or hurt, which prevents them from getting pregnant or giving milk. Once they can’t give enough milk to be “profitable”, they are slaughtered. Even though cows can live until they are 25, dairy cows rarely see their fifth birthday.

After birth, male calves (baby cows) are torn from their mothers and shipped to veal farms, where they spend their lives on short chains in filthy, narrow stalls. They can’t move around, and they’re fed food without enough iron so that their flesh will be pale and soft when eaten.

Chickens are kept in crowded, filthy sheds. They are given steady doses of drugs and bred to be so large that they can barely walk. One recent undercover investigation found that workers were ripping lives birds’ heads off to write graffiti with their blood and purposely squeezing them so hard that they caused feces to spray onto other birds.

Egg-laying hens are packed so tightly into cages that they can’t even stretch a single wing. The birds’ bones and muscles waste away from not being able to move -so when they’re slaughtered, their bodies can be turned into soup or cat food. Male chicks hatched on egg farms are thrown into grinders while they are still alive. Then they’re made into feed and fed to other factory-farmed animals -including the hens who might have been their own mothers.

Pigs on factory farms spend their entire lives on concrete floors in extremely cramped pens. The pens’ railings rub on their skin, making it red and raw, and they have no room to lie down comfortably.

Fish feel pain as all animals do, especially when they’re hooked through the mouth or dragged out of the ocean in nets to die slow, agonizing deaths by crushing, suffocation, or being gutted while still alive.”

If you read the above excerpt, can you still eat animals? I can’t. If you can, I’m not saying you’re a bad person, but do you really think animals should have to suffer like this just for human kind? Think about it this way, humans are animals too. How would you feel like being on a concentration camp factory farm?

Also, meat & dairy isn’t as healthy as you may think. Actually, it isn’t healthy at all. Below is another excerpt from the Peta2 ‘what they never told you‘ booklet:

“Consumer Reports’ latest test of broiler chickens reveals ‘that two-thirds of birds tested harbored salmonella and/or campylobacter, the leading bacterial causes of food-borne disease.’

In the U.S., we have the highest permitted upper limit of pus-cell concentration in milk in the world -almost twice the international limit of allowable pus cells.

Eggs are from chicken periods. Like with human females, when an egg isn’t fertilized, it, along with other tissue, is discharged from the body. For chickens, that discharge comes in a pretty little package called an egg.”

This is what you’re eating people. Live animals with children and families. Living, breathing, feeling animals.
And don’t get me started on animal testing.